When God answer my pray…

I will never leave you not forsake you…  Hebrew 13: 5

It was like another day when I came home, since I lived in another city. For me, coming home was like torturing myself. My parents didn’t approve with my job. They didn’t want me worked as a lecturer because they hoped me became a businessman. As we all knew that being a businessman promised you a better future than being a lecturer. However, it was my choice. And as the consequence, listening to their argument was my routine schedule when I was at home.

Since I couldn’t discuss my difficulties with my parents, that’s because they blamed me for my choice, I found it was hard to tell them about my feel, my fear and my struggle. It seemed that I left alone and no one supported me.  In the moment like that, sometimes I asked God why He put me in that situation and when He would help me out of it. I have prayed and prayed for many times, but I felt that it didn’t change anything.

But today, I thought that He answered my pray. Today my sister borrowed some books, one of them was the Chicken Soup book. Actually I love reading, but I didn’t put my eyes on them.  I forgot how long I read my last Chicken Soup book. It was some years ago. I used to love reading that kind of book, but now I thought that it was not interesting anymore.

I didn’t know what made me take the book and read it. It was a Chicken Soup about the answered prays. Reading it made me refreshed. It seemed like that God spoke to me using the book, using the stories inside. Somehow I thought that it was His way to strengthen my faith. I believed that nothing happened by accident but it was His work. It was His work when my sister asked me to accompany her to the library that day. It was His work too when He lent the books to my sister since I was not interesting about any book in the library. And it was His work too when suddenly I wanted to read it. The most important thing, I really believed He chose the right time that He put the book when I was at home.

I don’t know how about you, but I believe there were some moments when He spoke to you, answered your pray using some unpredictable ways. That’s how He works. Our task is just opening our ears and our heart to listen to His answers.

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When God answer the pray 14

March 7th

God, where are You?

God, answer me, please. Where are You now?

Ok, You don’t want to answer me, fine!

 

June 15th

God, are You really God?

I asked You for times but You kept silent. Answer me God!

If You exist, I challenge You to answer me!

I challenge You to show me who You are!

 

July 21st

You are not God, are You? You didn’t do anything. Or You are not able to?

I know You are not God…

Ok, You are nor God, so I have no business with You any longer…

 

October 24th

Hello My son. It has been for a while since the last time you spoke to Me…

Who are You?

I’m God…

Don’t be silly. You are not. I even don’t know if God exist… He never answered me…

Why I should answer you? Who are you that I must answer you or obey your command?

You are not God, but I am. I have no obligation to grant all your wishes. Instead, I can do anything as I am God. I have right to ignore you too, don’t I?

You are right, but…

And I have right to ignore all your challenges. I lose nothing even though you ignore Me…

You are right again…

As the creator, I have the right to do anything I want to my creations. It is same as you create something. For example, when you write something, you deserved to delete it whenever you were not pleased to the writing. So do I, I deserved to ignore my creations, or erase them whenever I was not pleased.

… I know it is… it is not about me, but it is about You. I’m sorry for disturbing You…

Do you understand now? Actually, I love the way you disturbed Me. I love you that why I always answered your questions, your complaints, your anger, but sometimes I have to make you grow. I have to discipline you too, so you can be mature.     

I realized it now God. Instead of You need me, it is me who need You… thanks for being my God, thanks for being patient to me…

Feel free to come to Me, My son. You know I love you so much. Yet, it doesn’t mean I tolerate any rebellion against Me.

I’ll keep it in my mind, God…

When God answer the pray 13

God, where are you God? Where are you?

I’m here My son. What happened? Why are you crying?

God, you know. You know what happened. You know that I just ruined my exam. I ruined everything.

I do know…

Then, why didn’t You help me? Where were You? You know I got bad comments. When presenting my work, the professors criticized me. I’m done, God. I won’t pass this exam. However, You did nothing to help me. You kept silent and let them attacked me cruelly.

 My son, I did help you. When you get the topic that you had to make a presentation, you were really happy, weren’t you? I know you excel in it so I chose it for you.

Ok God. You are right about that part, but still I ruined it. You knew from beginning it would happen, did You? I know that You did it on purpose. Did You want me failed?

Of course not My son. Don’t be angry with me. I did everything for your sake. Didn’t you remember that you almost lost your chance to take the exam? It was Me that helped you. I let them gave you one more chance when some of your friends didn’t get the chance. For doing it, you even didn’t thank Me…

Ok God, I thank You. I admit You’re right…

About their critics, wasn’t it good for you? You knew what were you lacking at and you could improve yourself. I really did it on purpose. I wanted you to learn something.

I admit that I was not good. I was disappointed with myself and I wanted to blame it on someone. I knew what they had spoken was right. But still, I couldn’t accept it. No matter how much I learned, the fact that I ruined my exam would not change.

Stop judging yourself. Instead of weeping, you should be grateful for everything you have. You have had a chance to take the exam and you have got some critics which are good for improving yourself. About the result of your exam, trust it on Me. You don’t have any idea about what am I doing but keep complain on Me.

God, I’m sorry. I’m sorry because I don’t thank You. I forget to thank You… It just really shatters me. I’m done…

I’m not yet done even you are. I’ve did everything for you and I still do it. Don’t lose hope, my Son. Believe in Me and you will see what will I do to you.

….

When God answer the pray 12

Hi God, where are You?

Here I am, My son. Now, what is it, what are you going to complaint? Please take your time. I am here, listening to you.

God, You told it as seem as I always come to You for complaining…

I am not wrong, am I?

Yeah You are right. I always have been come to You for complaining everything about my life. You are totally right.

Oh, and one more, not only complaining, you are blaming Me too. So, what is your case today?

Oh God, You make me feel guilty. I’m ashamed of myself.  , I’m not standing here for complaining or blaming You, at least it is not today…

So what do you want from Me?

I just want to discuss with You. Our conversation last time, when I complained, ok You right it was a complain, You asked me to think about my problem. Now, I come here to tell You something…

I wonder what is it, please tell Me…

I’ve been thinking about it, everything happened in my life, the happy moments and the sad ones. I’ve passed much hardness as long as I live. You know, I always asked why it has to be happened when I faced big problem. I thought and thought but I couldn’t understand. There were so many reasons, so many answers that were possible for answering it.

I knew You are God and it was Your right to decide the things would happen and the would not. I knew too that I was a mere human. What was I, instead of abandoned me, You loved me, protected me, and invested Your will on me. I couldn’t find any answer, but it was for Your glory for letting everything happened in my life, the good ones and the bad ones.

Please continue, I’m listening…

Even I still couldn’t understand why did You let it happened, but I tried to believe it was for my sake and to glorify Yourself.

Yeah, I think you got the point. Mere human of course can’t understand God’s mind, but believing will reveal everything. It is ok for you not knowing everything. Instead of knowing, I asked you for believing.

I’ll try to believe in You. It’s not easy.

Well, you right, it’s easier for believing in visible things rather than invisible God, isn’t it?

Haha, You’re right God. You make me feel ashamed again. Anyway God, thanks for being patient with me…

You’re welcome. Thanks for promising to believe in Me…

When God answer the pray 11

God, where were You when I had a big problem? I looked for You but You were not here. You left me alone.

My son, I was here. I always be here with you, I never left you alone.

But You didn’t do anything. What was the different, whether You were be with me or not. Still, I had to face my own problem by myself. And it was because You did nothing.

So you blamed Me?

Yes. You told me that You would help me, always with me, but I couldn’t believe it was happened, You let me faced my problem alone. I was angry with You. You promised that You would walk before me, but…

I knew I shouldn’t do it, I shouldn’t angry with You… I just wanted to know why did You let me faced it alone. You were God, instead of doing something to help me, You doing nothing. I just couldn’t accept it.

My dearest son, there was a time I help You and there was another time I restrained Myself from helping you. But believe Me, I did it for your sake…

How could You say it was for me? If it was for me, You should help me God.

Remember when I was with Peter and my other disciples on the stormy night. We were on the boat and my disciples were so fear. At that time, I calmed the storm…

Yes I knew it. You did help Your disciples…

But there was another time when I had to let Stephen died because of his faith in Me. Yes, I could save him, but I didn’t do it.

Why?

I had My own plan. As a human being, you couldn’t understand it. But I didn’t ask you to understand Me. What did I ask you is you believed in Me. Just did it.

But God, how can I believe in you?

You know when you were kid, your parents did everything for you, they helped you eat, took a bath, even read bedtime story for you could sleep. But when you got older, you had to do all of them by yourself. Were your parents cruel so they let you did it and didn’t help you anymore? Of course not. They still loved you, but you had to do it by yourself. You had to get matured. They always be with you, watching you, but let themselves not helped you as long as they thought you could do everything by yourself.  But if you got some problems and you couldn’t handle it, still they were ready to help you solved it, right?

Yeah… but it was different… I should do it because I had to do it…

No, it was same. You had to grow in your faith too. And you had to learn believing in Me, even I didn’t help you at that moment…

I know it will be hard for you to accept it, but you have to do it. Think bout it first, My son…

… ok…

When God answer the pray 10

Day 1

God where are You? I have a problem. It’s very big. God, You know the man working in my company, the newbie. My boss hired him few weeks ago. Oh God, it is a disaster. I find that he is a thief, a hacker. And I think he is on the way to steal any secret information about the company.

Day 3

God, why are You keep silent? It has been some days since he hacked my server. I had said to my boss, but he didn’t believe me. What should I do?

God, please answer me. Oh, don’t keep silent. Please do something God, please…

Day 6

Oh God, why don’t You do something? You know, this morning I heard that the man, the thief, the hacker, he would get promotion. It’s not right God. Please do something, don’t let it happened.

Day 7

God, where are you? It has been a week, and there is nothing changed. You did nothing so I decided to do something. I will make it sure that everyone knows his true face. He is a wolf in a sheep form.

Day 10

God! Why don’t You help me? You know I did it for good sake, but my boss still didn’t believe me. Instead of got reward, my boss blamed me. I even got punishment for my good intention. It’s not fair God. And You, You God, You did nothing! You didn’t help me even once. Please answer me, speak to me God…

God, You keep silent. You did nothing even you know it is not right. He is a wicked man. He is a thief, but you let him got success in his evil way. God I can’t believe You. Why do You let it happened…

Day 13

God, You don’t answer me even a single word. You had left me alone. You care not me anymore. Tomorrow he will be promoted. And I can’t do anything to prevent it. It is You who let the wicked one get everything he wants. I don’t want to speak with You anymore.

Day 14

God, sorry for misunderstanding You. Sorry for blaming You. Now I know that You are God who do not leave me even for a second. God, You had known that my boss knew everything about him, and he pretended to believe him, hadn’t You? I’m sorry God. I knew nothing, but thought that I knew everything. Moreover, I didn’t believe You and thought that You blessed the wicked one, instead of punished him. Please God, I’m sorry.

Dear Son, I was silent didn’t mean I did nothing. I just want you keep believe in Me. I have my own way to deal with him. Doubt not, but believe in Me. Am I not the God who blesses the good men and curse the wicked ones?

God, I’m sorry. Please forgive me…

I do, but promise Me that you will trust Me in all condition. Can you do it?

I’ll try God… I’ll try. I’m promise…