it’s ok to be imperfect

Perfection… of course all human beings want to get it. Having a healthy body, lovely family, highest grade, secure job, nice home, everyone want it, don’t they? Who want live alone, no money, no friends, jobless, and homeless? However, in the world we live in today, you can’t get everything you want.

Take a look at some businessmen. They might be success in their career and got wealthy, but how was their family? Some of them were unmarried, while others had problems in their family. There were only a few of them who had healthy relationship with their family.

So, is it wrong to dream a perfect live? Absolutely not. Everyone should set a goal as high as possible. Yet, the problem appeared when they couldn’t get the goal. While some people worked harder, the others got stress and gave up, even the worse was they gave up their live and chose to die. For those people, the pressure was unbearable.

Let me ask you a question, who put a heavy weight on your shoulder? Are they not the society, are they? The society told us that if we want to live happily, we must have everything that I wrote before. They told us to be success in everything and if you were having most of it but missed only one thing, it couldn’t be considered as a success. That’s why most of people couldn’t stand it because they regretted the thing that they couldn’t achieve and forgot the others that they have had. It seems that if they were imperfect and unsuccessful, they wouldn’t be accepted by the society.

Now, let’s take a look at God. Does He want us to be perfect? Yes, He does. Matthew 5:48 tells us. However, the distinction of God and the society is while the society gives us no room for imperfection, God accepts us even we are imperfect. Roma 5:8 tells us that God love us even we were a sinner. Yes, He wants us to be perfect, but He knows that human is imperfect. Nobody’s perfect, isn’t they? That’s why God will make us perfect. When you put your life in His hands, your family, career, study, wealth, everything you have, I believe He will make it perfect. Ok, maybe it’s true that you still are not be able to get your dreams come true, but you will find a satisfaction in your hearth. You need not hold the burden of perfection and successful life from society any longer. You are free to be imperfect and unsuccessful as long as in the eyes of God it is a perfect and success life that He created for you…


Why must we work hard?

If that question was presented to you, what would your answer be?

Would you answer it was because of your pride and your fear of failure? Well, some people did work hard because they pursued wealth, good reputation for their pride. Believe me, I was part of this group. Therefore, there was no room for failure. In order to achieve it, they must work hard and harder. It’s a good perception, I think, but it was also vulnerable. What if suddenly you lost your aim, or your reputation broke, or you did a big mistake that ruined everything you had achieved? Maybe it was happened on the people who committed suicide.

Maybe you had other answer. Maybe you work hard because you pursued the blessing of God. I had some friends that did much work in order to get blessing. They thought the harder they work, the more God would bless them. However, what if God didn’t bless you even you did your best. I knew some good people who lived a godly life but had accidents in their life. There was an honest man who never cheated and always worked diligently, but one day, he got an incurable disease. I knew some women who were hard worker and helpful but lost their husband and be widows in their youth.

However, they did not stop doing their daily job, because they did it not for themselves. To work was a human being’s nature. It was not because we wanted to achieve something, instead we worked because we were alive. We worked because we wanted to do something for ourselves and others. If we did it merely only for ourselves, we would get exhausted and gave up when we didn’t get what we wanted. But we didn’t worked blindly because there were something that we couldn’t change or get in this life. For example, there were some people who wanted to be a president and they worked hard in order to achieve it, but in the end we knew that they never be. What if we faced that situation?

I did ever experience it. When my hard work seemed to be nothing and my goal was not achieved, I had two choices, the first one was giving up and blamed everything and everyone and the second one was smiling and letting it be. I did both of them. At first I was angry and blamed everyone, but it would never change the situation. However, in the end I learned to accept it. No matter what happened, it had been happened, but I knew that it was still under God’s control. So, it should be ok. Whether I was success or not, it was on His hand. My part was keep doing my work as good as I can.

If you asked me, that was my answer…

After Christmas

It has been few days after Christmas, how have you been in these days?

Has your heart still been filled with the joy of Christmas, or it has vanished like the morning dew vapored soon after the sun rose?

Have you still remembered the message that you got this Christmas, or you actually never got anything?

Did you really look for the Christmas wholehearted, or you just coincidentally stepped your feet on Christmas day?

Did you really welcome the Christmas with a devout heart, or you just celebrated it as an annual event?

Does Christmas have any meaning for you, or it is something that you never have an eye for?

It’s just the questions that I asked to myself…


When God answer the pray 14

March 7th

God, where are You?

God, answer me, please. Where are You now?

Ok, You don’t want to answer me, fine!


June 15th

God, are You really God?

I asked You for times but You kept silent. Answer me God!

If You exist, I challenge You to answer me!

I challenge You to show me who You are!


July 21st

You are not God, are You? You didn’t do anything. Or You are not able to?

I know You are not God…

Ok, You are nor God, so I have no business with You any longer…


October 24th

Hello My son. It has been for a while since the last time you spoke to Me…

Who are You?

I’m God…

Don’t be silly. You are not. I even don’t know if God exist… He never answered me…

Why I should answer you? Who are you that I must answer you or obey your command?

You are not God, but I am. I have no obligation to grant all your wishes. Instead, I can do anything as I am God. I have right to ignore you too, don’t I?

You are right, but…

And I have right to ignore all your challenges. I lose nothing even though you ignore Me…

You are right again…

As the creator, I have the right to do anything I want to my creations. It is same as you create something. For example, when you write something, you deserved to delete it whenever you were not pleased to the writing. So do I, I deserved to ignore my creations, or erase them whenever I was not pleased.

… I know it is… it is not about me, but it is about You. I’m sorry for disturbing You…

Do you understand now? Actually, I love the way you disturbed Me. I love you that why I always answered your questions, your complaints, your anger, but sometimes I have to make you grow. I have to discipline you too, so you can be mature.     

I realized it now God. Instead of You need me, it is me who need You… thanks for being my God, thanks for being patient to me…

Feel free to come to Me, My son. You know I love you so much. Yet, it doesn’t mean I tolerate any rebellion against Me.

I’ll keep it in my mind, God…


Love is not because of… but it is in spite of…

What did you fell when someone whom you love hurt you, disappointed you or made you sad? Did you still love them? Perhaps some of you still loved them while the other chose to hate them.

I know that it was not easy when a man who was close to you hurt you badly. However, as you loved him so much, I think you would have not considered the pain that he did. As parents who loved their children so much wouldn’t able to hate them even though they hurt them. Love covered everything.

Now, let’s talk about our relationship with God. I knew and I really did have some hard times that made me hurt, be disappointed even angry at Him. When everything happened was far away from my expectation, I questioned His love. If He were God, he should help me through this hardness. If He loved me, I should not face those problems. There were a lot of excuses that I made for blaming Him.

Yet, did I really have right to do it? Who was I that I could order The Creator? Suddenly my consciousness rebuked me. When I said that I loved him, was it was because I wanted Him always fulfilled my wishes? So when the other way happened, my love turned to a hate. If it was so, then I had no love for Him at all.

True love was still bloom even the condition seemed almost impossible for it. That’s why when I said that I loved Him, I should keep loving Him even though I faced hardness, even though I lost my dreams and hope, even though He didn’t grant my request.  That’s the pure love as He did it to me first. He loved me so much even I was a sinner, even I rebelled to Him and chose walking by myself and pushed Him far away.

At that time I learned to love Him even though…

as I knew and believed in Him that He had and would provide me with the best ones.


When God answer the pray 13

God, where are you God? Where are you?

I’m here My son. What happened? Why are you crying?

God, you know. You know what happened. You know that I just ruined my exam. I ruined everything.

I do know…

Then, why didn’t You help me? Where were You? You know I got bad comments. When presenting my work, the professors criticized me. I’m done, God. I won’t pass this exam. However, You did nothing to help me. You kept silent and let them attacked me cruelly.

 My son, I did help you. When you get the topic that you had to make a presentation, you were really happy, weren’t you? I know you excel in it so I chose it for you.

Ok God. You are right about that part, but still I ruined it. You knew from beginning it would happen, did You? I know that You did it on purpose. Did You want me failed?

Of course not My son. Don’t be angry with me. I did everything for your sake. Didn’t you remember that you almost lost your chance to take the exam? It was Me that helped you. I let them gave you one more chance when some of your friends didn’t get the chance. For doing it, you even didn’t thank Me…

Ok God, I thank You. I admit You’re right…

About their critics, wasn’t it good for you? You knew what were you lacking at and you could improve yourself. I really did it on purpose. I wanted you to learn something.

I admit that I was not good. I was disappointed with myself and I wanted to blame it on someone. I knew what they had spoken was right. But still, I couldn’t accept it. No matter how much I learned, the fact that I ruined my exam would not change.

Stop judging yourself. Instead of weeping, you should be grateful for everything you have. You have had a chance to take the exam and you have got some critics which are good for improving yourself. About the result of your exam, trust it on Me. You don’t have any idea about what am I doing but keep complain on Me.

God, I’m sorry. I’m sorry because I don’t thank You. I forget to thank You… It just really shatters me. I’m done…

I’m not yet done even you are. I’ve did everything for you and I still do it. Don’t lose hope, my Son. Believe in Me and you will see what will I do to you.