When God answer the pray 13

God, where are you God? Where are you?

I’m here My son. What happened? Why are you crying?

God, you know. You know what happened. You know that I just ruined my exam. I ruined everything.

I do know…

Then, why didn’t You help me? Where were You? You know I got bad comments. When presenting my work, the professors criticized me. I’m done, God. I won’t pass this exam. However, You did nothing to help me. You kept silent and let them attacked me cruelly.

 My son, I did help you. When you get the topic that you had to make a presentation, you were really happy, weren’t you? I know you excel in it so I chose it for you.

Ok God. You are right about that part, but still I ruined it. You knew from beginning it would happen, did You? I know that You did it on purpose. Did You want me failed?

Of course not My son. Don’t be angry with me. I did everything for your sake. Didn’t you remember that you almost lost your chance to take the exam? It was Me that helped you. I let them gave you one more chance when some of your friends didn’t get the chance. For doing it, you even didn’t thank Me…

Ok God, I thank You. I admit You’re right…

About their critics, wasn’t it good for you? You knew what were you lacking at and you could improve yourself. I really did it on purpose. I wanted you to learn something.

I admit that I was not good. I was disappointed with myself and I wanted to blame it on someone. I knew what they had spoken was right. But still, I couldn’t accept it. No matter how much I learned, the fact that I ruined my exam would not change.

Stop judging yourself. Instead of weeping, you should be grateful for everything you have. You have had a chance to take the exam and you have got some critics which are good for improving yourself. About the result of your exam, trust it on Me. You don’t have any idea about what am I doing but keep complain on Me.

God, I’m sorry. I’m sorry because I don’t thank You. I forget to thank You… It just really shatters me. I’m done…

I’m not yet done even you are. I’ve did everything for you and I still do it. Don’t lose hope, my Son. Believe in Me and you will see what will I do to you.

….

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Learning from a game ;)

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Those are some scenes from Brave Story game. Never did I imagine to get these sentences from a game. You know, I was fail in my job recruitment and I blamed myself for it. If I have tried harder, maybe I would have got the job. Nevertheles, I can’t change the fact that I was fail.

I was mad at myself for sometime, but it wouldn’t get me better. It just made me tortured indeed. Finally, my friend told me that I had a choice to weep myself or to leave everything behind and take a step forward.  I know, it is not easy. At first, it was really hard for me to stop weeping myself, but in the end I chose to move on.

Sometimes I still feel sad for my failure, but on the other hand I have to convince myslef that everything will be ok. I believe everything happens for my sake. That’s why I have to continue my life with a big smile.

Trying…

1. It’s better to explain why are you fail than to explain why do you not try.

2. It’ not easy, but it’s not the reason for not try. Stop complaining and start trying.

3. Say this loud : My job is not  doubt my possibility for succes. But it is trying.

4. There are so many surprise in our life gained by the people who would like to try.

Well, in addition, we never know what will we get if we do not try… =)

Keep try

“Huh… apakah aku akan berhasil melewati tes TOEFL ini?” Aku menghempaskan tubuhku pada sofa yang tersedia di kafe itu. Kepalaku benar-benar terasa berat karena setengah isi buku TOEFL setebal 10 cm sudah berpindah tempat, tentunya kupindahkan ke dalam kepalaku.
“Makanya belajar!” sahut orang yang duduk di sebelah kiriku. Dua kata yang diucapkannya benar-benar terasa menampar pipiku. Aku mengelus pipi kiriku. Tidak sakit. “Kalau kamu nggak belajar ya kamu sudah pasti nggak lulus.” Ingin aku memasukkan gumpalan tanganku ke mulutnya, jika saja aku belum kehilangan kewarasanku.
“Kamu nggak tahu sih, susah tahu…”
“Makanya belajar!” Kembali dia mengulangi kalimat itu. “Tunggu sebentar ya!” Dia bangkit berdiri, menuju ke counter. Aku menyandarkan punggungku ke bantalan sofa sembari mencoba memutar kembali deretan kata-kata yang kuhafalkan tadi, tentunya dalam Bahasa Inggris.
“Nih, punyamu!” Dia menyodorkan cup berisi coffe milk tea pesananku sembari mengambil tempat duduk di sebelahku.
“Kenapa kamu nggak duduk di depanku saja?” tanyaku sambil memainkan topping buble pada minumanku itu.
“Kursinya keras. Enakan di sofa. Empuk.”
“Dasar!”
“Shall we practise?” Dia sengaja memancingku dengan berkata-kata dalam Bahasa Inggris.
“Ohhh… can’t we just have vacation today? It’s Saturday night…”
“Practise makes you better!”
“Whatever. I’m not sure about my English skill. Can I pass the TOEFL test, I mean can I get highest score?” Aku mulai menghisap minumanku. Beberapa topping buble berdesakan saat mereka melewati sedotan menuju ke mulutku.
“I don’t know.” Dia menghisap minumannya. Dalam hati aku bertanya apakah milk latte pesanannya enak. Setidaknya warna putihnya memberiku first impression yang buruk. Aku tidak suka warna putih. Terlalu pucat. “You never know until you try.”
“But, how if I fail?” Aku memperhatikan sepasang remaja yang duduk tak jauh dari kami. Menurutku mereka pasangan yang aneh. Mereka nampak sedang berkencan, maksudku berkencan dengan gadget mereka masing-masing.
“The one thing I know is you will certainly fail if you never try.” Katanya sambil memutar cup minumannya dan mendorong cup itu beberapa centi ke arahku. “You’ve got message from Mr. Calais. Read it!”
Mau tak mau mataku pun bergerak menuju ke cup itu. Seulas senyum mengembang di bibirku saat membaca tulisan yang terpampang di situ. “Ok, you win.”
Liekeas

Bagaimana ini? Aku stress. Rasanya nggak mungkin aku bisa lolos tes TOEFL dengan skor setinggi itu. Kukirimkan BBM singkat kepadanya sambil berbaring di atas kasur. Buku TOEFL setebal 10 cm itu tergeletak di lantai, masih terbuka.
I think you’ve got enough spirit for study. Dia membalas BBM ku dalam Bahasa Inggris. Oh, not again. Kurasa otakku sudah cukup kenyang setelah hampir dua jam melahap buku TOEFL.
I think it’s imposible. I know my skill. I can’t do it. I think I’ll give up.
I think we spoke about it yesterday.
But it’s really hard. I’m not smart enough.
Kutunggu beberapa menit sambil terus melirik blackberry hitam yang tergelat di samping kepalaku. Tak ada jawaban. Aku pun bangkit dari tempat kasurku dan mulai merapikan buku TOEFL yang kutelantarkan di atas lantai saat kudengar suara dari blackberry ku dan kulihat lampunya berkelap-kelip. Dia membalas BBM ku.
What’s this? Dia mengirimkan sebuah gambar yang membuat mulutku terkunci.
Krismint Liem林玉敏qas
Keep study. You’ll find a way. The fact that you’re afraid is add more reason for you study hard. Dia menambahkan kalimat itu tak lama kemudian.
You win… again. Balasku.