it’s not about me

How often did you use the word ‘me’ or ‘I’ in your conversation? I think it was a lot enough. Even I used it in my first three sentences hehe…

Well, it looked like a simple thing but without we realized, it made us the center of our universe. Was it wrong? Of course not, I think. Yet, it made us thought ourselves higher than the others or sometimes we thought that we didn’t need other people in our life. Everything we did, we did it for ourselves, even without considerated other people. Our mind was programmed to think ourselves first and completely thought that we were the superhuman in our universe. For example, we did ever plan something, didn’t we? How often did we think about other people or other chance that might be ruined our plans? I my self always made plans and thought they would be success but in the end, a lot of things happened and ruined my plans. You see, I’m not a decision maker in my universe.

Take another consideration. Without me or my think, this universe still moves on. Even when I passed away or vanished, it didn’t affect this universe, hmmm maybe it would affect it a little, just a little. Yet, it would not be destroyed. I’m not the ruler of this universe. Instead, I must follow this universe’s way of life. Even I can decide what will I do in the future, but I can’t change my past. I can’t change my father and mother, my family, my date of birth and my gender. I can’t choose to be born in which family as well as can’t choose to be born as a boy or a girl. I’m totally hopeless. In the end, I can’t choose when and how I will end my life. If I don’t want to die, still I will die someday.

You see, sometimes our mind tricked us. It led us to think high on ourselves. But the truth is we are nothing than a mere human. There were a lot of things that out of our control. Yet, they were still under the control of The Great Creator. You know what is it means?

Worry nothing, sleep well. Take a breath and enjoy your life. Stop being god and let He be. Enjoy your unpredictable life as an adventure. At least it is a choice that we can made.


Where am I…

Where was I when The Lord was arrested?

Was I fleeing and hiding, because I was afraid…

Or actually, it was me wjho handed Him to the guards in exchange for money?

Where was I when The Lord was on trial?

Was I watching from a distant and denied if I knew Him, for treasuring my life…

Or I closed my eyes and washed my hands, followed the crowd asking for Him to be crucified…

Where was I when The Lord was hung on the cross?

Was I mocking Him like the others did it…

Or I was regreting my sin, since I was the sinner, but feel sorry for Him, the reighteous?

Where was I when He died on the cross?

Was I leaving His corpse behind…

Or I was willing to take a huge risk for asking for His body and burying Him?

Where am I standing right now?


you give everything that I want

coz You love me and want me happy

but it’s make me proud and thought  that I am the lord

and You serve me coz I am worthy

but it’s totally false

when You didn’t give me the things I want

I became angry and blamed You

it’s not about who am I

but it’s about who You are

You love me so much and I live by Your grace

Coz You are The Lord

When i speak to myself

I’m fool…

I think I know everything, but in reality I know nothing…

I even don’t know how to make the others happy…

I pretend to be clever and know everything but I’m not…

I’m just nothing, I can’t do anything, I’m nobody..

I don’t know how to make myself realize who am I..

Who am I?

Who am I?

 I even don’t get the answer..

I feel empty…

What can I do?

How can I be?

What should I be?

Why I’m exist?

What is the meaning of my existence?

Am I something, or nothing?

So many things that I can’t answer..


So who are you exactly?

Do you have the answers?


Yes I do.

Follow me and I will show you the way, the way that you’re looking for.


Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom…

It’ll open the door to wisdom…


Believe Me…

Trust Me…

And you’ll see…

“Remind me who i am”

A song by Jason Gray
When I lose my way,
And I forget my name,
Remind me who I am.
In the mirror all I see,
Is who I don’t wanna be,
Remind me who I am.
In the loneliest places,
When I can’t remember what grace is.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.

When my heart is like a stone,
And I’m running far from home,
Remind me who I am.
When I can’t receive Your love,
Afraid I’ll never be enough,
Remind me who I am.
If I’m Your beloved,
Can You help me believe it.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You, whoa.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You.
That I belong to You.
To You.

I’m the one you love,
I’m the one you love,
That will be enough,
I’m the one you love.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You, oh.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.


I vs me…

Sungguh suatu gambaran yang baik di mana kata ‘I’ yang digunakan untuk menunjuk diri sendiri sebagai subjek dalam bahasa Inggris selalu ditulis menggunakan huruf besar, tak peduli di mana pun letaknya dalam susunan kalimat. Hal itu dapat dipandang untuk menunjukkan manusia yang selalu berpusat pada dirinya, mengutamakan dirinya, menjadikan dirinya sebagai yang utama. Suatu paradigma yang wajar dan umum di dalam dunia yang cemar ini. Sedangkan kata ‘me’ yang menunjukkan manusia sebagi objek barangkali dipandang sebagai suatu kebodohan, kelemahan, ketidakmampuan di mata dunia. Padahal hal yang benar adalah ‘me’ bukan ‘I’ karena kebenarannya manusia bukanlah subjek tapi objek, Tuhanlah yang menjadi subjeknya.

Sebenarnya musuh utama manusia adalah dirinya sendiri. Nafsu, keserakahan, keinginan pribadi lah yang membuat manusia menjadi makhluk yang jahat, brutal, bahkan tak berprikemanusiaan. Seringkali manusia menyalahkan setan atas apa yang dilakukannya, padahal jika mau jujur sebenarnya manusia sendirilah yang dengan penuh kesadaran mengikuti hawa nafsu dan keinginannya, dengan atau tanpa bujukan setan. Natur manusia yang berdosa membuat diri manusia tak lagi sempurna, melainkan dipenuhi oleh kebusukan. Hal yang palit sulit adalah mengalahkan diri sendiri, menyangkal diri. Bagaimana cara mengalahkan diri sendiri, hal itu mustahil karena jika diandaikan pertandingan, dua orang yang memiliki skill sama jika bertarung tak ada yang menang. Hanya dengan bantuan orang lain maka kita dapat menang, dalam hal ini dengan bantuan Tuhan.

Dengan menyadari posisi dan status manusia di hadapan Tuhan, juga di dalam dunia ini maka seharusnya dapat membantu kita untuk menempatkan diri, bertindak dan berprilaku. Sebagai objek maka manusia adalah sasaran yang dikenai predikat, bukan pelaku predikat itu. Dalam hal ini Tuhanlah yang bekerja, melakukan pekerjaan, dan manusia adalah sasaran karya Tuhan. Maka sudah sepantasnyalah kita menempatkan diri sesuai posisi dan kapasitas sebagai objek.

Yang selalu terjadi adalah sebaliknya, manusia ingin menempatkan diri sebagai subjek, menjadikan dirinya pusat dari segala sesuatu, dan menyingkirkan Tuhan. Manusia menjadikan Tuhan sebagai objek pemenuhan kebutuhannya. Manusia memperhamba Tuhan, dengan menurunkan posisi Tuhan hanya sebagai pemberi berkat, pengabul permintaan, lalu apa bedanya Tuhan dengan pesuruh yang selalu kita suruh ini dan itu. Sebuah koreksi bagi kita semua. Di manakah kita memposisikan diri saat ini. Apakah sebagai ‘I” atau ‘me’?