Learning from a game ;)

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Those are some scenes from Brave Story game. Never did I imagine to get these sentences from a game. You know, I was fail in my job recruitment and I blamed myself for it. If I have tried harder, maybe I would have got the job. Nevertheles, I can’t change the fact that I was fail.

I was mad at myself for sometime, but it wouldn’t get me better. It just made me tortured indeed. Finally, my friend told me that I had a choice to weep myself or to leave everything behind and take a step forward.  I know, it is not easy. At first, it was really hard for me to stop weeping myself, but in the end I chose to move on.

Sometimes I still feel sad for my failure, but on the other hand I have to convince myslef that everything will be ok. I believe everything happens for my sake. That’s why I have to continue my life with a big smile.

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Wanita itu #3

Kupelankan laju motorku saat mataku menangkap pemandangan yang tak biasa. Di tepi jalan sana kulihat seorang wanita paruh baya, mungkin usianya sekitar 30 hingga 40 tahun, berjalan dengan cara yang tak lazim. Alih-alih berjalan dengan kedua kakinya, wanita itu justru menggunakan seluruh tubuhnya untuk berjalan. Ya dia berjalan dalam posisi duduk. Sepintas kuamati cara berjalan wanita itu, tapi aku tak bisa berlama-lama mengamatinya. Ada banyak kendaraan lain di sekitarku dan akan sangat berbahaya bagiku dan bagi pengendara lainnya kalau aku kehilangan fokus pada jalanan di depanku.

Singkat cerita aku meninggalkan wanita itu dengan pergulatan nya dan tiba di tujuan. Ya, tujuanku hari itu adalah memotong rambut di salon. Entah berapa lama sudah aku menanti giliran, rasanya lama sekali. Untuk mengusir rasa bosan aku melayangkan pandangan keluar jendela. Wanita itu, aku kembali melihat wanita itu berjalan dalam duduknya. Kuamati wanita itu lebih seksama. Dia berjalan dengan mengangkat bagian bawah tubuhnya ke depan sedangkan kedua tangan bertumpu ke tanah untuk menopang tubuh ringkihnya. Setelah dia mendaratkan tubuh bagian bawahnya barulah dia mengangkat tangannya maju. Sungguh sebuah perjuangan untuk bisa bergerak dengan cara seperti itu. Aku tak tahu berapa lama waktu yang dibutuhkan bagi wanita itu untuk berpindah tempat dari satu tempat ke tempat lain.

Aku terus mengamati wanita itu. Kini dia berhenti sejenak. Dia melepaskan sandal japit yang digunakan di tangan untuk melindungi tangannya ketika menyentuh jalanan yang panas, kemudian dia menyeka peluh yang membasahi dahinya dengan tangan yang telanjang. Aku tahu pasti berat sekali berjalan seperti itu di bawah matahari yang bersinar terik seperti saat ini. Beberapa menit wanita itu berisitirahat. Kini dia memasang kembali sandal jepit ke tangannya, siap melanjutkan perjalanan. Aku terus mengamati wanita itu hingga dia hilang dari pandanganku.

Dalam jangka waktu yang selama itu dia hanya bergerak sejauh beberapa meter. Hatiku terenyuh memikirkannya. Ada rasa kasihan, sedih, bercampur syukur dan kekaguman. Melihat wanita itu aku bersyukur karena nasibku jauh lebih beruntung. Aku masih memiliki tubuh yang lengakp. Namun, aku juga merasa kasihan dan sedih melihat apa yang dialami oleh wanita itu. Dalam hati kecil aku ingin membantu mengantarkan wanita itu, tapi apa yang dapat kulakukan? Membantunya berdiri saja aku pasti tak sanggup. Lagipula untuk orang seperti itu, maksudku mereka yang memiliki keterbatasan tapi tak mau menyerah, sebuah bantuan dapat saja dipandang sebagai sebuah bentuk meremehkan mereka. Di situlah aku merasa kagum atas tekad dan perjuangan wanita itu.

Aku tak sanggup membayangkan jika aku menjadi wanita itu. Bagaimana aku dapat berjalan dengan cara yang berat seperti itu? Bagaimana jika hujan lebat turun sedangkan aku tak memiliki tangan yang bebas untuk memegang payung? Aku juga tak mampu membayangkan bagaimana jika ada orang yang berniat jahat kepadaku. Aku tak dapat bergerak dengan cepat. Aku tak dapat berlari atau melindungi diri jika ada orang yang berniat merampokku. Entahlah aku tak sanggup berpikir lebih jauh lagi. Namun aku tahu satu hal bahwa wanita itu memiliki tekad yang kuat dan tak mudah menyerah meski hidup yang dijalaninya sangat berat.

Wanita yang kulihat hari ini mengajarkanku untuk tak mudah menyerah. Setiap orang pasti memiliki kesulitan dalam hidupnya masing-masing. Apa pun bentuk kesulitan yang kita alami, aku percaya Tuhan pasti menyediakan kekuatan untuk menanggungnya. Jangan mudah menyerah dalam hidup ini. Di luar sana ada orang lain yang mungkin menanggung beban hidup yang jauh lebih berat tapi mereka tak menyerah.

Stop being a glass

A teacher comes to his student. He is wonder because his student always has been sad recently. “Why are you sad, son? There are a lot of beautiful things in this world, aren’t they? Where has been your happy face gone?”

“Teacher, my life has been full of problems recently. It has been hard for me to smile. The problems seems always come to me. They have never ended.” The student answers him.

Listens his student answer, the teacher suddenly laughs. “Son, bring me a glass of water and two spoons of salt. I will make your heart calms.”

The student goes and does as his teacher asks him. He comes back with the glass and salt.

“Please take a spoon of salt and put it into the glass,” the teacher orders him. “Then you can drink the water.”

The student does it. His face changes when he drinks the salt water.

“How was it?” the teacher asks him.

“It was salty,” the student answers him.

“Now, follow me!” The teacher walks to the nearby lake.

“Take the rest of salt and sow it to the lake.”

The student sows the salt to the water. The salty taste in his mouth is still there. Even he wants to spit it, he can’t do it. Doing such thing in front of his teacher is impolite.

“Now, you can drink water from the lake,” the teacher orders him. The he looks for a big stone for sitting on the lakeside.

The student cups his hands and takes water from the lake then he drinks it. When the fresh water flows through his throat, the teacher asks him, “How is it?”

“It’s very fresh,” the student answer him while he wiping his mouth. The water flows from the top of hill and it goes to the river below. It also gets ride of the salty taste in his mouth.

“Do you taste the salt that you have just sowed?”

“Not at all,” the student answers his teacher. Then he takes water again and drinks it. Seeing his student’s behavior makes the teacher smiles.

“Son,” the teacher says to his student after he finished drink. “All of your problems are like a spoon of salt. It’s only a little. The problems and sufferings that you have to face have been arranged by God for your sake. Each of us has to face our own problems. No one frees from it.

The student listens quietly. “But son, the salty taste of the sufferings is depends on your heart. You can choose to be a glass or a lake. I hope you can make your heart as wide as a lake…”

Whether it was good or bad, it’s only God who knows…

Once upon a time, there was an old farmer that lived with his only son. They lived in a village near a forest. Beside the farm, they also had a horse. The farmer’s son used it to help him plowed the farm. One day, the farmer’s horse ran into the forest because the farmer’s son forgot to close its stall. Knowing what happened, the farmer’s neighbor come to console him. They said, “We feel sorry for your house. It was a bad thing for losing your only horse. Now, you and your son have to work harder without a horse for helping.” Listening his neighbor, the old farmer only said, “Whether it was good or bad, it’s only God who knows…”

Few days later, the farmer’s horse came back from the forest. Of course the farmer and his son very happy for getting their horse back. But this time, it didn’t come back alone. The horse brought three wild horses back with it. The farmer’s neighbor came again when they heard the sound of horses was running on the farm. They said, “It was a bad thing when your horse ran into the forest, but now you get four horses. You’re very lucky. Maybe losing your horse brought you good sake. If it didn’t run, you will only have one horse.” Again, the old farmer said, “Whether it was good or bad, it’s only God who knows…”

The day after it, the old farmer asked his son to tame the wild horses, so they can use them to plow the farm. Taming wild animal was the farmer’s son ability. But when taming the last horse, it ran wildly and throw the farmer’s son. Fell from the horse made his arm broke and he had to take a rest for a while until his arm healed. The farmer was so sad. His son couldn’t help him worked on the farm. After heard the accident that happened to the farmer’s son, his farmer neighbor came again. They said, “Your horse came back and brought wild horse was a horrible thing. Look at your son, now he gets his arm broke. It was a bad thing happened to you and your family.” The farmer, for the third time said, “Whether it was good or bad, it’s only God who knows…”

One week later, the soldiers from palace come to their village. The soldiers took the village boys and sent them to warfare, because that time their country was in war and they had already lost many soldiers. When the soldiers came into the old farmer house, they found a young man on the bed because his arm was not yet healed. The farmer’s son condition made the soldiers left him in his house. They didn’t need the sick people. The farmer’s neighbor came and crying because the soldiers brought their sons. They said, “You are very lucky. It was a good sake when a wild horse throw your son and the accident brought his arm broke. If your son is healthy now, the soldier will take him and send him to war.” The old farmer, as usual said, “Whether it was good or bad, it’s only God who knows…”

Well, the story just simply teach us not to judge the condition that we get base on our mind. Actually, we never know where will live bring us. Whether it is a bad thing or good one, we get no idea at all. It is only God who create everything knows. And I believe everything happened in our life is for our sake.

A little thing in my head…

As a human being, worrying is part of my life. Do not know what will be happened tomorrow get me really fear. I’m categorized to man who always plans everything perfectly before doing something. That’s why do not know what is going to come really makes me powerless. I don’t know what will I do tomorrow, what kind of job will I get, will I be able to get job that I wanted, will I get my dream comes true, and there are still many things that I get in my head, the things that I have no idea at all.

You know, it is true that as human being, we have many things we worry. We worry much about the future. I think it’s ok. Everyone has their own struggle about their life and their future. But something that suddenly slips into my head is what I need, the Lord will provide them. Wherever it is according with our will or not, it’s a different case, but I’m totally believe Lord will give the best for us. There’s nothing that He won’t give to us. Even His life, it was granted for us. Jesus gave everything He had. He left His throne in heaven for us. Whatever He did, He did it for us. Until the end of His life, He gave His life for us, for saving us from eternal death. I think it’s more than everything we ever asked and imagine.

That consciousness makes me realized that there is nothing in this world worthy enough to be worried. The Lord will provide us, everything we need, it has be given to us. You just need to believe and trust Him. Job, livelihood, money, husband/ wife, kids, all of them are small matters for God. Since He has given His life, the most precious one for us, there is nothing that He will not give to us, but we have to remember as long as it’s for our own sake.

Finishing my writing, I want to give thanks to Jesus for His love. And one another thing, try not to worry too much. He’s here with us and He will help us and provide us. Have a meaningful Good Friday…

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My daughter

“Mom, today Miss Clara told us about what would we do when we grow up…” said Diana, my daughter when we are going to home for her school.

“Aha. Mommy is wondering what is it…” I said to her without release my eyes from the street in front of me. I’m not a good driver and I have to drive carefully.

“I said that I want to be a nurse. She answer me happily, “and Laura could be the doctor…” she added it.

Her answer disturbs me. I go along the side of road and stop my car. I’m not a good driver, I repeat it and I can’t speak seriously while driving.

“Baby, why did you want to be nurse since Laura be doctor. I think you could be a doctor too.”

“But Mom, why should I be a doctor?”

“Dear, look at Laura. She wanted to be doctor. It’s ok for you to be doctor. You know, doctor is greater than nurse. Doctor can heal wounded person. It’s so cool…”

“But Mom, there is no job that greater than the other. I think all of them are same. Nurse is cool too. If everyone wants to be doctor, then who will be the nurse, since we need her to.” Said Diana calmly.

For the second time, her answer makes me really uncomfort. Honestly, she is right. All of jobs are same and we need them. Ok, maybe we think that one job is greater than the other one, in my daughter’s case it is doctor greater than nurse, but we can’t erase nurse. Instead, we need her too.

“Mom…” Diana calls me.

“Ok sweetie, you are right. I was wrong. You can be nurse. Nurse is wonderful too. Let’s continue our journey to home…”

**

Realized it or not, parents teach their kids to be greater than others. As parents, we want our kids be the number one, have many skills, be the winner. Maybe it is not absolutely our fault. We are the product of our parent’s will. That’s why we do the same to our kids.

Everyone is unique. Each of us has a certain place in the universe. Like a puzzle, each piece is part of the big picture. No piece that is better than the others. Each of them is same. No matter how bad its shape, still it is needed to make the puzzle perfect.

Inspired from my friend’s sharing post..