when you say you love..

You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it..

You say you love sun, but you seek shelter when it is shining..

You say you love wind, but when it comes you close your windows..

So that’s why I’m scared when you say you love me..

It’s a famous quote of Bob Marley. I’m sure you have read it. Lately, I thought about the quote. What did he mean? What did he want to say? I agreed that everything he thought was right. No matter how we loved the nature, we used an umbrella when it was raining, we hid from the sun, and we covered ourselves from the blow of the wind.

I realized it when I had to move in order to chase my dream. I used to imagine what would I do when I got my dream accomplished, but at the day when it really became accomplished, I was scared. What if it would not go well as what I had thought before? What if in the end I realized that I actually didn’t enjoy it and it went as a dream that I had dreamed for a long time?

You don’t really know what do really want. I think it is the message of the quote. Be careful with your desire because a lot of people don’t actually know well what is their main desire.

Let me close this writing with another set of questions.

Do you really love rain, or do you think you will love it?

Do you really love the sun, or do you think you will love it?

Do you really love wind, or do you think you will love it?

Do you really love me, or do you think you will love me?


Love is not because of… but it is in spite of…

What did you fell when someone whom you love hurt you, disappointed you or made you sad? Did you still love them? Perhaps some of you still loved them while the other chose to hate them.

I know that it was not easy when a man who was close to you hurt you badly. However, as you loved him so much, I think you would have not considered the pain that he did. As parents who loved their children so much wouldn’t able to hate them even though they hurt them. Love covered everything.

Now, let’s talk about our relationship with God. I knew and I really did have some hard times that made me hurt, be disappointed even angry at Him. When everything happened was far away from my expectation, I questioned His love. If He were God, he should help me through this hardness. If He loved me, I should not face those problems. There were a lot of excuses that I made for blaming Him.

Yet, did I really have right to do it? Who was I that I could order The Creator? Suddenly my consciousness rebuked me. When I said that I loved him, was it was because I wanted Him always fulfilled my wishes? So when the other way happened, my love turned to a hate. If it was so, then I had no love for Him at all.

True love was still bloom even the condition seemed almost impossible for it. That’s why when I said that I loved Him, I should keep loving Him even though I faced hardness, even though I lost my dreams and hope, even though He didn’t grant my request.  That’s the pure love as He did it to me first. He loved me so much even I was a sinner, even I rebelled to Him and chose walking by myself and pushed Him far away.

At that time I learned to love Him even though…

as I knew and believed in Him that He had and would provide me with the best ones.

This Christmas


It’s Christmas again. By this Christmas, I heard some sad news. It was about the Christmas celebration rejection from certain groups of people, and lately, we heard about the bomb terrors even I don’t know exactly what was it aimed for. Facing this situation, I think it is common for us to feel uncomfortable, insecure and may be a little worry. But I think it’s OK. We learned Christmas was about presents, celebrations and joy in a wrong way. I think instead of there is a joy because everything is going well according to our will, we have to learn that we still can find a joy in every situation, even in the worst one.

Let’s go back to two thousand years ago. When Christ was born, I think we got the same situation. Rejection, terror and difficulties, the baby Christ and his parents faced all of them. They had no room for Mary to deliver her Son. As a pregnant woman, I think it was very difficult to make a travel. The difficulties were increased when she need to bear but there was no one willing to provide a room. I think they must have been very sad, flustered and may be a little angry with the current situation. You know the next stories. Rejection didn’t interfere with the birth of Christ. In the middle of unexpected hardness and difficulties, Christ still be born, even He was born in the manner, an unsuitable place for a baby to be born. Could you imagine how can they have a joy? I myself couldn’t do it.

Was everything ends after He was born? No, it was not. They still had to face a terror because Herod wanted to kill the baby Christ. He ordered to kill every male infant. I couldn’t imagine the terror that each parents had to face, including Mary and Joseph. They must have feared and were forced to run to Egypt, where they lived as strangers, far away from their home town. Were they happy when they did it? I was sure they weren’t.

All of difficulties they had to face were caused by the baby Christ. However, they didn’t give up on Him. They faced everything because they believed in their Son. And I believe in every hard situation they had to face, they could find a joy and peace. I think that was Christmas.

Christmas this year made me learned to trust God in every situation. No matter how worst it was, God was still in control. Rejection, terror, difficulties can’t interfere God’s love for us. And we should imitate it. There should be nothing can stop spreading love to other, sharing goodness to the needed and testifying God’s grace in our life. We have no fear, we have a joy and peace because God grants them to us. And now, it depends to us for living the love that God has provided.

One more, may in this Christmas we learn to imitate Christ. Even the world rejected Him, no one welcomed His birth, but the shepherds and the magi, He still loves this world and he proved it by His death on the cross. He loves the people who hated Him, even they who crucified Him.

In this Christmas, may the peace and love always be with us. Merry Christmas.

God’s waiting

Have you ever been waited for something? I’m sure that you have. How did you feel when you were waiting? Once again, I’m sure you hated it and you swear never you would do it again. You know, today I waited for ticket reservation almost three hours, and honestly it made me impatient.  I really hated it, knowing that I should went to the reservation desk as soon as possible but I couldn’t do it because there was someone else standing there, or even there was no one, still I had to wait for my number was called. No one loves waiting. I’m sure about it.

I think it’s same with what is God feels when He waits for us. God really wants us coming to Him, but us, including me, spend very little time for God. We choose to prioritize our daily schedule, our own interest rather than God. I myself think that I put God on the, well I don’t know exactly where it put Him, maybe on the third, sixth or even tenth place, but not yet on the first, in my life priorities. But God is still waiting for me (Hosea 3:3-5) to leave everything and come to Him. Never he tired or bored when He’s waiting. It’s the opposite of my deeds. I waited for three hours and I got angry, but He’s waiting for the entire of my life and never gets tired.

You know, for me knowing it really makes me speechless. I can’t say or write anything more. I just fell grateful because God loves me so much, but in the same time I feel ashamed because I have done a lot horrible things. Anyway, I believe that He is God who loves me. He has forgiven me and will always forgive me.  But He also wants me to put Him on the first place in my life. Thanks God for Your love…

Just be you…

No matter how good you act, they who like you will always praise you, but they who dislike you will always find a flaw in your deeds.

No matter what do you do or you don’t do, they who love you will always be pleased, but they who hate you will always mock you.

It’s ok. You can’t change their heart. Instead, it is their choice to like you or to dislike you.

But you can do one thing, just keep be yourself.

The righteous one need not praise and haters can do nothing for blocking his marvelous deeds.

Anyway, do what is right and let your pure heart shines.