it’s not about me

How often did you use the word ‘me’ or ‘I’ in your conversation? I think it was a lot enough. Even I used it in my first three sentences hehe…

Well, it looked like a simple thing but without we realized, it made us the center of our universe. Was it wrong? Of course not, I think. Yet, it made us thought ourselves higher than the others or sometimes we thought that we didn’t need other people in our life. Everything we did, we did it for ourselves, even without considerated other people. Our mind was programmed to think ourselves first and completely thought that we were the superhuman in our universe. For example, we did ever plan something, didn’t we? How often did we think about other people or other chance that might be ruined our plans? I my self always made plans and thought they would be success but in the end, a lot of things happened and ruined my plans. You see, I’m not a decision maker in my universe.

Take another consideration. Without me or my think, this universe still moves on. Even when I passed away or vanished, it didn’t affect this universe, hmmm maybe it would affect it a little, just a little. Yet, it would not be destroyed. I’m not the ruler of this universe. Instead, I must follow this universe’s way of life. Even I can decide what will I do in the future, but I can’t change my past. I can’t change my father and mother, my family, my date of birth and my gender. I can’t choose to be born in which family as well as can’t choose to be born as a boy or a girl. I’m totally hopeless. In the end, I can’t choose when and how I will end my life. If I don’t want to die, still I will die someday.

You see, sometimes our mind tricked us. It led us to think high on ourselves. But the truth is we are nothing than a mere human. There were a lot of things that out of our control. Yet, they were still under the control of The Great Creator. You know what is it means?

Worry nothing, sleep well. Take a breath and enjoy your life. Stop being god and let He be. Enjoy your unpredictable life as an adventure. At least it is a choice that we can made.


when you say you love..

You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it..

You say you love sun, but you seek shelter when it is shining..

You say you love wind, but when it comes you close your windows..

So that’s why I’m scared when you say you love me..

It’s a famous quote of Bob Marley. I’m sure you have read it. Lately, I thought about the quote. What did he mean? What did he want to say? I agreed that everything he thought was right. No matter how we loved the nature, we used an umbrella when it was raining, we hid from the sun, and we covered ourselves from the blow of the wind.

I realized it when I had to move in order to chase my dream. I used to imagine what would I do when I got my dream accomplished, but at the day when it really became accomplished, I was scared. What if it would not go well as what I had thought before? What if in the end I realized that I actually didn’t enjoy it and it went as a dream that I had dreamed for a long time?

You don’t really know what do really want. I think it is the message of the quote. Be careful with your desire because a lot of people don’t actually know well what is their main desire.

Let me close this writing with another set of questions.

Do you really love rain, or do you think you will love it?

Do you really love the sun, or do you think you will love it?

Do you really love wind, or do you think you will love it?

Do you really love me, or do you think you will love me?

Just be you…

No matter how good you act, they who like you will always praise you, but they who dislike you will always find a flaw in your deeds.

No matter what do you do or you don’t do, they who love you will always be pleased, but they who hate you will always mock you.

It’s ok. You can’t change their heart. Instead, it is their choice to like you or to dislike you.

But you can do one thing, just keep be yourself.

The righteous one need not praise and haters can do nothing for blocking his marvelous deeds.

Anyway, do what is right and let your pure heart shines.

When God answer the pray 12

Hi God, where are You?

Here I am, My son. Now, what is it, what are you going to complaint? Please take your time. I am here, listening to you.

God, You told it as seem as I always come to You for complaining…

I am not wrong, am I?

Yeah You are right. I always have been come to You for complaining everything about my life. You are totally right.

Oh, and one more, not only complaining, you are blaming Me too. So, what is your case today?

Oh God, You make me feel guilty. I’m ashamed of myself.  , I’m not standing here for complaining or blaming You, at least it is not today…

So what do you want from Me?

I just want to discuss with You. Our conversation last time, when I complained, ok You right it was a complain, You asked me to think about my problem. Now, I come here to tell You something…

I wonder what is it, please tell Me…

I’ve been thinking about it, everything happened in my life, the happy moments and the sad ones. I’ve passed much hardness as long as I live. You know, I always asked why it has to be happened when I faced big problem. I thought and thought but I couldn’t understand. There were so many reasons, so many answers that were possible for answering it.

I knew You are God and it was Your right to decide the things would happen and the would not. I knew too that I was a mere human. What was I, instead of abandoned me, You loved me, protected me, and invested Your will on me. I couldn’t find any answer, but it was for Your glory for letting everything happened in my life, the good ones and the bad ones.

Please continue, I’m listening…

Even I still couldn’t understand why did You let it happened, but I tried to believe it was for my sake and to glorify Yourself.

Yeah, I think you got the point. Mere human of course can’t understand God’s mind, but believing will reveal everything. It is ok for you not knowing everything. Instead of knowing, I asked you for believing.

I’ll try to believe in You. It’s not easy.

Well, you right, it’s easier for believing in visible things rather than invisible God, isn’t it?

Haha, You’re right God. You make me feel ashamed again. Anyway God, thanks for being patient with me…

You’re welcome. Thanks for promising to believe in Me…

When You’re silent

When You are silent, I used to think You forget me or You don’t care about me anymore

I used to ask ‘why Lord… why this happened to me… and why You keep silent…  do You angry with me?’

Somehow I blamed You, blamed the others, and blamed the condition happened

I wanna hear Your voice and wait for your miracle… but You still silent…


In Your silent, I asked and asked…  I asked everything…

Until I know that Your silent lets me correct myself, to find what is my true self…

In Your silent You keep working, You never leave me but always be here


And now I realize… when You are silent it doesn’t mean You hate me

But it’s because You love me…